Let me help you with your mindset

This blog has been written in August 2020.

Until now, I didn't have the courage to post it.

Some healing here, some healing there and when I thought I was over it, life showed me depth.

Today, on Father's Day, I dedicate this blog to my father. 

My drive, my business ethic, the ideas and being such a workaholic are my father's genes.

It wasn't until two years ago that I became aware of how much I look like him.

I think I was in denial and letting my emotions control me.

I am glad that I learned to deal with these emotions, and accepted things as they are: my healing was so far that I could see the things as they are. 

2020 has been a real rollercoaster ride.

I had to deal with a lot of emotions and have been confronted with the real me for a couple of times.

Like life is setting the mirror right in front of my face.

One of the mirrors was a couple of months ago.

Despite the Corona crisis, I decided to visit my family. I was energetically devastated, and I needed a change of scenery.

So I decided to combine work and vacation: the workation.

On the second and the third day of my workation, I was confronted with a harsh reality.

While working at my mom's house I automatically chose to sit at the same place; my dad did a couple of years ago.

I could felt his energy, I could see him, staring at me, and I was imagining how it would be to have him at home now.

Not only that, but I can tell you, that brought a lot of memories and tears.

The feeling was harsh when I decided to look in our old photo albums, and I saw the photo below.

The way he stares at me was the same as in my imagination.

Dad, this one is for you.

Whatever our paths split a few years ago, sometimes I miss the crazy you—your laugh, your jokes, your stupidity but also your strong and hard opinion. 

Even though I know that ’what if questions, are stupid, I still have some wandering in my head...

💙What if we were sitting here and talk about business. 

💙What if we were sitting here and you were teaching me about life. 

💙What if we were sitting here and you make fun of my creativity 

💙What if we were sitting here and you warn me about working too hard and forget about life. 

💙What if we were sitting here and you told me how proud you are. 

💙What if we were sitting here and you were teaching me how to play this game at its best 

Maybe these questions will only be questions, but deep down, you prepared me for all this a long time ago.

I only, in my selfish mind, want you to be here, but I know that where you are, you are ok.

With love and gratitude for all the life lessons who made me who I am today!

Ps. My parents are divorced and my father is still alive

Note: This letter was one of my healing recourses towards my dad.